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mayamaiaNot exactly counting, but making note of:
How many times I considered asking Jeff for a break from us, doubted I was the girl for him or doubted his willingness to make an effort.
How often I mentioned needing my friends because Jeff wasn't there.
The times friends expressed doubt (unsurprisingly few).
The times I expressed attraction for other guys, or noticed attraction for me, and Jeff's responces (generally unconcerned and unbelieving - he sometimes attributed the latter to wishful thinking, but I was proved right).
The many times I carefully considered problems, talked them over with him, so in the end the relationship was stronger.
*******
He is still attracted to me. (Not difficult, considering he's essentially conditioned to think of me as the only girl who gives him sex.) He still wants to talk with me and spend time with me. He makes sure I know I rank way up there still.
In my attempts to explain the situation to outsiders, I keep getting the following question: "Um... Just why are you broken up again?" I am getting so used to answering, that I have an answer memorized. It feels exactly, EXACTLY like the way Dan and I used to explain why we weren't going out - getting weird looks because during said explanation we would keep speaking in tandem or finishing each others' sentences. It becomes such a habit that one can not think of any other way to answer, until I start to wonder "Why am I saying I don't like him that way?"
How many times I considered asking Jeff for a break from us, doubted I was the girl for him or doubted his willingness to make an effort.
How often I mentioned needing my friends because Jeff wasn't there.
The times friends expressed doubt (unsurprisingly few).
The times I expressed attraction for other guys, or noticed attraction for me, and Jeff's responces (generally unconcerned and unbelieving - he sometimes attributed the latter to wishful thinking, but I was proved right).
The many times I carefully considered problems, talked them over with him, so in the end the relationship was stronger.
*******
He is still attracted to me. (Not difficult, considering he's essentially conditioned to think of me as the only girl who gives him sex.) He still wants to talk with me and spend time with me. He makes sure I know I rank way up there still.
In my attempts to explain the situation to outsiders, I keep getting the following question: "Um... Just why are you broken up again?" I am getting so used to answering, that I have an answer memorized. It feels exactly, EXACTLY like the way Dan and I used to explain why we weren't going out - getting weird looks because during said explanation we would keep speaking in tandem or finishing each others' sentences. It becomes such a habit that one can not think of any other way to answer, until I start to wonder "Why am I saying I don't like him that way?"
