They amuse me.

"Last Saturday, January 19, the Jesuits elected a new Superior General, the 29th in line from St. Ignatius. Bearing some semblance to a papal conclave, the Jesuit version is called a "General Congregation" - 271 delegates (electors), chosen locally from 91 provinces, journey to Rome for the event. "

It's really not much surprise that the Jesuits tend to irritate the rest of the Catholic hierarchy. They're rather independent...

I motivate myself by ego manipulation.

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in the sea of things I don't quite remember. Little details that cause mistakes in problem after problem simply because I'm out of practice, particularly when it comes to integration.

The drowning feeling multiplies with the workload. Three of my classes and one of my jobs involve the same sort of thought, some more dragging than others. The worst one - because it is easy and tedious and slightly depressing - is grading. There are so many simple stupid mistakes people can make and sometimes I have to go over a problem with a fine toothed comb to locate the mistake so I know how much to mark off. And some of the mistakes are so simple to avoid... but to be fair, the kids are improving their organization, so it's getting better.

The upshot is, the stress pulls at me and tiredness pulls at me and I think it's just all too much sometimes - except I don't get to think that, because it would be an excuse to quit and THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO QUIT.

Because I'm brilliant, and I can fraking do this. This is why I keep saying I'm awesome all the time - because while I do think it's funny to be vain as a peacock, I also think it's very useful. I'm f*sking BRILLIANT and it doesn't matter WHAT the hell they throw at me, I can handle it. So there is no excuse not to get down and get it done just because I can.

Not because I owe it to anyone or to myself or to my future or anything - just because I can.

Still, I do get awfully weary, and while it may not be too much for me - because nothing's too much for me to handle - I was tired enough today to cry. So I called Jeff in between classes just to hear a friendly voice to ease my mind.

Now I will assuage the bruising on my soul - just given me by Diff Eq - by dancing in the rain in scanty clothing. (No, I didn't make that comic. I just edited it in when I saw it and realized it fit.)