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mayamaiaMy truffles are delayed yet a few more days. Ah well, better than receiving them melted.
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Today's master class was a bit trying - the song is one that is perfect for my voice, which I've been waiting and hoping to perform - but I have yet to be allowed to finish it, and in fact only went through the first verse almost every time I've sung it. So I get more and more nervous every time I stand in front of the piano for this song, and I ended up breaking down and crying today.
What is it about performance that is so frightening? I know that the people like me and want me to sing well, and I know that I am the most physically talented singer in the group this quarter. But...
You channel yourself into a song. And once you start, there's a certain momentum that carries you. Let it go, and it gets harder and harder to bring the feeling into it. This song magnifies it. I know what every word means, I know who I'm singing to and why and I mean everything I sing. Then someone stops me and tells me that I need to breathe differently, why don't I start again from the beginning. There is a bit of melody at the end I haven't gotten a single chance to sing in front of an audience, and that's the goal toward which I've been trying repeatedly to build. It's beautiful, it's meaningful - and I kept getting stopped short.
Gina (TA) talked with me afterwards, and said she'd talk with the others. When I work on it in private sessions next Tuesday, Nancy (teacher) and Kate (other TA) and Dan (accompanist) all have instructions to just let me finish the damn song ONCE.
**********
Today's master class was a bit trying - the song is one that is perfect for my voice, which I've been waiting and hoping to perform - but I have yet to be allowed to finish it, and in fact only went through the first verse almost every time I've sung it. So I get more and more nervous every time I stand in front of the piano for this song, and I ended up breaking down and crying today.
What is it about performance that is so frightening? I know that the people like me and want me to sing well, and I know that I am the most physically talented singer in the group this quarter. But...
You channel yourself into a song. And once you start, there's a certain momentum that carries you. Let it go, and it gets harder and harder to bring the feeling into it. This song magnifies it. I know what every word means, I know who I'm singing to and why and I mean everything I sing. Then someone stops me and tells me that I need to breathe differently, why don't I start again from the beginning. There is a bit of melody at the end I haven't gotten a single chance to sing in front of an audience, and that's the goal toward which I've been trying repeatedly to build. It's beautiful, it's meaningful - and I kept getting stopped short.
Gina (TA) talked with me afterwards, and said she'd talk with the others. When I work on it in private sessions next Tuesday, Nancy (teacher) and Kate (other TA) and Dan (accompanist) all have instructions to just let me finish the damn song ONCE.
