Good memory.
Apr. 27th, 2008 11:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mayamaia...sometimes I am really thankful for past blessings.
I've told the Belize story more times than I can remember. A trip that I desperately wanted, that was good for me, that would have been a wonderful experience all around and probably would have shaped where I went in college - which was utterly, immediately refused by Papa. Okay.
But that's balanced with the trip to Missouri. I will always love Stina for inviting me, always. And that Jeff offered to pay, and that PAPA not only accepted it but supported it and allowed me to pay my own way! I was dead scared that I would be told I shouldn't go, and there Papa was saying it would be good for me! And the fact that he suggested I buy the ticket myself - this was really important, because for the first time my father suggested that I spend a serious chunk of my own money for something I wanted. I was raised being ordered to save money, save money, defer gratification, WAIT. But for once - yes, you can do something for yourself, for fun! It was the single most positive way my father ever encouraged me to be independent.
I think that was the first point where I stopped thinking of my bank account as primarily belonging to Papa, and using it for frivolous reasons as slightly illegitimate, sort of stealing from my future. From then on it was MINE.
(Definitely would never have gone to the Simon and Garfunkel concert if it hadn't been for that.)
I've told the Belize story more times than I can remember. A trip that I desperately wanted, that was good for me, that would have been a wonderful experience all around and probably would have shaped where I went in college - which was utterly, immediately refused by Papa. Okay.
But that's balanced with the trip to Missouri. I will always love Stina for inviting me, always. And that Jeff offered to pay, and that PAPA not only accepted it but supported it and allowed me to pay my own way! I was dead scared that I would be told I shouldn't go, and there Papa was saying it would be good for me! And the fact that he suggested I buy the ticket myself - this was really important, because for the first time my father suggested that I spend a serious chunk of my own money for something I wanted. I was raised being ordered to save money, save money, defer gratification, WAIT. But for once - yes, you can do something for yourself, for fun! It was the single most positive way my father ever encouraged me to be independent.
I think that was the first point where I stopped thinking of my bank account as primarily belonging to Papa, and using it for frivolous reasons as slightly illegitimate, sort of stealing from my future. From then on it was MINE.
(Definitely would never have gone to the Simon and Garfunkel concert if it hadn't been for that.)
