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Counterpoint
May. 8th, 2012 03:44 pmIn light of my earlier story of being followed, an incident of a few minutes ago is more troubling than it might have been.
The circumstances were different. It is bright sunny day today, the place was San Jose by the Cupertino border and the path I just followed the only way from one side of the freeway to the other without detouring in a no-trespassing area (which I frequently choose, actually.) And while I noticed the young man near me at the very beginning, he never made me nervous.
Shortly after the freeway I noticed he was close behind me again, but as I said, bright day and only way past the freeway: no triggers there. And yet when I turned my head to check that is was safe to cross the street, he suddenly burst out with "I'm not following you!"
I blinked, and replied with some dismay, "Oh God, no I didn't think that."
The young man was visibly Latino and wearing a sleeveless shirt. He looked a bit like a stereotype of a gang member. I suddenly remembered that when I told a neighbor the incident in Castro Valley, not having given any indicator of race beyond that the guy had tried to pretend he didn't speak English and yet had a clear American accent, the neighbor had said "Mexican, right?" Looking at this young man, I felt awful for him, because the only reason I had given him for thinking I was alarmed was standing in front of him and turning my head vaguely in his direction.
He started to stumble over reassurances and I just interrupted him with "Oh no. No, I... I'm sure people judge you that way all the time, but not this time."
Stereotypes are what people use when they don't have reliable judgement or instincts. I wish I could make things easier for young men whose appearance alone is a trigger.
The circumstances were different. It is bright sunny day today, the place was San Jose by the Cupertino border and the path I just followed the only way from one side of the freeway to the other without detouring in a no-trespassing area (which I frequently choose, actually.) And while I noticed the young man near me at the very beginning, he never made me nervous.
Shortly after the freeway I noticed he was close behind me again, but as I said, bright day and only way past the freeway: no triggers there. And yet when I turned my head to check that is was safe to cross the street, he suddenly burst out with "I'm not following you!"
I blinked, and replied with some dismay, "Oh God, no I didn't think that."
The young man was visibly Latino and wearing a sleeveless shirt. He looked a bit like a stereotype of a gang member. I suddenly remembered that when I told a neighbor the incident in Castro Valley, not having given any indicator of race beyond that the guy had tried to pretend he didn't speak English and yet had a clear American accent, the neighbor had said "Mexican, right?" Looking at this young man, I felt awful for him, because the only reason I had given him for thinking I was alarmed was standing in front of him and turning my head vaguely in his direction.
He started to stumble over reassurances and I just interrupted him with "Oh no. No, I... I'm sure people judge you that way all the time, but not this time."
Stereotypes are what people use when they don't have reliable judgement or instincts. I wish I could make things easier for young men whose appearance alone is a trigger.
