How I woke

The dream started in what is now a haze and changed from one scene to another many times.

The part I remember clearest morphed rapidly. Suddenly from being in a room with a window looking out at a river/lake, I was on a hike in Yosemite being led by Jeremy from work (only in his 30's, but already a bitter old gay man.) He berated some guy in the group for getting high on the hike (and pissing himself because of it) and then Kathryn was looking at her shoulder where a snake had bit her and the guy who'd gotten high was apologizing, saying it was all his fault.

And then it was Peter, apologizing to Wendy for ...something. Probably for forgetting her.

And then it was Jeff talking to me, carefully explaining one more thing about me that was easy to ignore, and why that wasn't his fault. And I disagreed in principle and grew more and more distressed at the apathy behind his supposedly friendly conversation until I woke up from my unhappiness.

Chalk up the first time I've dreamed about Jeff in about a month. And a heck of a dream it was.

I couldn't get back to sleep - so I reread the last chapter of Ender's Game (which made me cry like mad again, this time when Peter asked Ender to speak for him). In a couple hours, when I felt he'd answer, I called Jeff and talked about something else until I felt better.

Unfinished projects.

As the title states, here be things I have started and still care about but have left in varied states of partiality. (Hey, I can talk like a pirate when I want to, especially when I'm giggling about a chibi Davey Jones.) (And language-slaying is fun!)

RPG Story - Ah, the eternal novel. I can always brainstorm, but continuous, consistent writing? Not something I've mastered. Short stories and poems are generally my limit, for fiction. Not that they fare better....

Tales of Adam and Eve - Originally inspired one late, late night when I was considering how I could never think of Dan as a brother but forever as a twin. A series of vignettes with pictures, about the passage of the first two through many lives. The closest they ever come to a happy ending would be with her as a nun and him writing songs to hear her sing them... and I haven't even written that story yet, though it was developed that same first night.

The Hollow Hills Woodburn - Lines need to be darkened, and I haven't even written the poem for the back yet. It's been waiting over a year.

Sketchbook Cover - Heck, I haven't even gotten started. But I know what I want it to be. All I need is some Prismacolors and some FRICKIN' DEDICATION

Fix My Computer - So I can use it again and so when I get another I can keep my best photography, writing, etc. And cause Jeff's computer problems fire my curiosity for building my own computer some day.

Analysis of the Goddess - Not that I have any right to write the parts I have yet to start - I mean, the third chapter and the epilogue are, respectively, finding a way to be the goddess with Jeff (which I only understood with the first fever of writing the analysis, then lost sight of entirely) and The Goddess As Wife which, obviously, I am not, and may never be.

Friends page clogging!

( Chocolate lyrics )

Flood of entries

GOD DAMMIT.

I finally looked up a bunch of lyrics I didn't want to read three months ago. And I was right about them. Complicated.

I also started listening to Dashboard Confessional, which meant of course I looked up Vindicated and Hands Down, and darnit if THAT doesn't bring back oh-so-frickin-happy-memories.

Memories which I'm supposed to believe meant something entirely different from what I thought.

I'm not intellectually or emotionally blind, so there are still huge holes in that logic.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me, so I die happy?
My heart is yours, to fill or burst
To break or bury, or wear as jewelry
Whichever you prefer.

*sigh*